Musing - Church

I'm going to Church again tomorrow - It's a strange feeling, but I am looking forward to it. Being able to talk to God. And then I'm going to hit the Gym.

It's going to be a good day... I can feel it.

Musings - Friends

Today, one of my friend asked me out for lunch. As I had nothing better to do, I said "Yes". I have to admit that as much as I've never really enjoyed his company, but I'd prefer this sometimes than to being alone. He's a bit of a loner at work and is quite annoying, and he doesn't have many interests- so its hard to talk to him. And yet he tells me that I'm his closest friend.

We've never been out, aside from dinners after work. Today, we had brunch, visited some national monuments, and had lunch and just chatted about life and our thoughts. I think today, I saw him as a real person - past all the horrible jokes that he tells, his annoying voice, his weird habits... and saw that he was looking for all what each of us wants - acceptance and companionship.

And in a way, he provided me with the company that I needed, and took away some of my burden. I realised now that I shouldn't be picky when I choose friends, because I'd never know what they can give when I need it the most.

*I feel Blessed*

Blessed

I am taking a day at a time. A bit like a recovering alcoholic - take one day at a time.

But good news: My company is giving me a one-off $2,000 relocation allowance, and they'll pay for my air ticket to relocate to Singapore. Made me wished that I had taken a plane to SG.. haha.

And I have been urged to complete my appraisal, because there some benefits (which has not been disclosed) waiting for me.

And I have a really really cute personal trainer. :) That makes working out fun - it's the highlight of my day - just talking to him... He looks like a big brother (the cute gangster leader).

And he's introducing me to his friend - Head Chef of a restuarant - hmm, young, smart, ambitious - maybe I should be seeing someone outside the industry, and the idea of a man who can cook good food- that's always a good friend to have...we'll see.

I am blessed these two days. Tomorrow will be another day. Let's do this slowly. But I think having a spiritual support does help. I feel much happier, much more relieved.

I feel blessed.

Today

Today - I did something that I had never done before in my life.

I admitted that I needed help, and opened my heart to God (at church - another first). And I felt a kind of peace that I had not felt in a long long time - a sense of relief and that there would be someone to help me through this turbulent time in my life - fyi - it has been the worst time of my life.

I was so relief that I cried at church. Now, I have the strength to go on. It may sound corny, but it's true! I do feel that someone up there is looking down one me - and patting my head, telling me that everything will be OK.

I so do need that. And afterwards, I went to the office to pick up my running shoes, and my boss was there. And we had a chat -

She asked me: " You've had a turbulent year. And I've sense that... don't be offended, but it seems like you bury yourself in work, and yet, nothing comes out of it. Is it because you're having difficulties getting over your ex-boyfriend?"

And she was right on the spot. And I opened my heart out to her, and told her that it had been so difficult - and she was so supportive.

" It's not easy getting over a relationship. No matter what people say, I know it's hard." She said. "Especially when you're in a new country, in a new job, all alone. It's hard."

She invited me to her house for dinner. I think I would like that.

I don't agree with everything the church said today, but I felt a sensation that I had never felt before. Maybe this is "the touch of God"... maybe , maybe. It give me spiritual strength.

I've never felt this good. Or maybe it was also that I just ran half an hour on the gym, and then another half an hour on the machines....

Friday Night III

Right after my last post, my friend called - and he accompanied me for dinner.

He had no idea how much I needed company that night- he's a good friend.

Even though he did nag me to "hurry up and eat" cause he had to go to the airport to send someone off.

It made me feel much better.


Then I went home and had a shower and slept.


The end of a turbulent day. Tomorrow will be better...